worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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