lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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