I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
