your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
