So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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