Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
