And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
