You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
