I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
then he tried to convert me to islam
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
