I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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