wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
tell me about the eggs
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
