i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
