do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
