ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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