It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
