it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize