wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
