someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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