would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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