Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
whose parrot is this?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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