He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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