C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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