dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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