just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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