I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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