Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize