so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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