You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize