I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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