The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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