i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
