We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
be right there i have to get my cape
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
