Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
