he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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