so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
