Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
