Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
