Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
