How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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