she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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