Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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