Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
