Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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