Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
