I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She bit a glass in half.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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