He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We talked him into tasing himself.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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