Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
