tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
