I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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