I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize