fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
