There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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