Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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