I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
