Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
