You're completely useless in the revolution.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
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