Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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