also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
