they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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