I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
