Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
no. you can't hotbox the world.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
