Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
